Inside the Tunnock's Factory!

Last Wednesday I took the day off work and accompanied the  lovely Mair on a tour of the TUNNOCK'S FACTORY!

I wore my shiny red headband to mark the occasion.

Mair and I had been looking forward to this trip for a long time. Being rabid fans of tea cakes, machines and field trips, this was pretty much a dream come true and I couldn't sleep the night before.

But still, despite our steel-clad optimism we were concerned that this trip would be disappointing, that somehow the magic of those shiny yellow and red treats would fade for us. That illusions would be shattered.

I am pleased to report that this was not the case. Instead we came back raving like sugar-high maniacs about how wonderful the factory was. Those of you who are skeptical about pretty big companies selling sugary products to the masses may wonder how we could be so devoted and uncritical, but this place really is something. It's just so cohesive. There's nothing to break the spell of a pleasant building, filled with laughing pleasant people, rolling out millions of chocolate and marshmallow and caramel treats everyday. Tunnock's both seem to have a deep understanding of the kitsch value of their brand (just look at their website) and an uncomplicated and retro way of producing their wares.

Let me show you.

Mair and I started this day with a trip to Uddingston on the outskirts of Glasgow. It's cute there. We went to a cake store that had more wedding cakes than I had ever seen.

   

Next we went to the Tunnock's bakery across the street from the factory. Here you can buy the normal range of tea cakes and caramel logs and wafers, as well as more obscure varieties like the dark chocolate tea cakes. Wrapped in gold and deep blue these suckers are hard to find. You can also get a whole range of cakes, breads and pies that one would never associate with Tunnock's. But knowing that there would be a lot of sugar in store for me, I decided to get some protein in the form of a bacon roll. Mmmm. Pork and salt and butter and a whisper of bread. Delicious.

Here's Mair outside the factory. It was sunny! We were going to see them make tea cakes and it was sunny! All my memories of that day are washed with euphoric delirium. Sugar and sun will do that to the dwellers of Scotland. (the clock has a tea cake on it, by the way. awww. so cute.)

Mair is tiny compared to the many storeys of wafer and caramel production.

The thing you can't tell from the picture is how we are both swooning from the roasted coconut scented breeze that wafted around the factory. There was also a note of melting chocolate. How could we possibly help ourselves?

We waited in reception for our guide, Brendan. See, isn't this a great reception?

It would have been horrible to walk into something really corporate and soulless, but there was just layers and layers of paraphernalia and old signs and friendly relaxed people. In the bottom right corner you can just make out a little skiing figure made out of a tea cake box.

We were nervous about Brendan, though. You see, he's the Health and Safety manager. Getting a tour from someone in that position sounded like a dull prospect. At lot of officious behaviour and not getting too close to things and boring facts about the safety record of the place. We didn't need to worry; Brendan was alright. This wasn't going to be a tour of the fire extinguishers or top tips on dealing with caramel burns. Once we got kitted out in our fancy hairnets, white coats and ear plugs, we went straight up to the caramel and wafer machines.

Here's some buckets of sugar (Mair was pleased to see it was brown - she's such a health nut) that are getting ready to go into the caramel boilers. You can also see part of a cute uniform in the top left corner. Awww.

Once the sugar and fat and condensed milk and stuff are all caramelized, the delicious goo pours out of a tap and into a trough and all the way to a cooling area.

It gets thinly spread.

And then it's collected at the end. Look at that. It was so difficult not to just chow down. The bucket of vegetable grease on top helped to kill the urge.

But ignore that and look at this:

Amazing.

Anyway, next we went to see how wafers are made.

Here's a worker named Pauline. I think she's mixing or measuring something for the wafer batter.

It was really difficult for Mair and me not to be very patronizing to the people that worked at the factory. I sort of thought of them as magical treat elves. Clearly working here is just a caramel and chocolate infused job and not actually a passport to a magical kingdom of delicious miracles. I really tried to remember that and not smile insanely at everyone I saw and not make my "awwwww" sounds too loud. Such a jerk.

Anyway, the wafers are basically made like waffles, and then they go here to cool.

 

And then there were the tea cakes.

Here are the cookie bases on their way to the oven. I got to eat one of the baked ones off of the production line. Thanks Health and Safety Man! It was good, but I have to admit I like it better when it gets slightly soggy in the actual tea cake.

The biscuits get packed away in tightly and are conditioned for a day. This stops the tea cake from cracking when all of the amazing stuff goes on top of the the cookie base. Mair stole a biscuit. (Brendan said it was ok.)

This guy was doing quality control for the tea cakes. He had a huge glob of marshmallow in one hand that he used to grab the defective cakes. He then separated the cookie from the marshmallow and threw them into containers. All the broken and ugly tea cakes get mashed up and reused in the cookie dough. They just adjust the sugar content accordingly. Weird, huh?

And actually of course, as Brendan pointed out, it's not marshmallow so much as a cooked Italian meringue (basically egg whites whipped into a hot sugar syrup). That's what makes it nicer than other marshmallow biscuits that use gelatin and end up gummy and gross.

My pictures of them getting their chocolate coating are boring/bad, so here they are ready to be packaged into boxes:

 

The packaging was really awesome. Honestly. It was like one of those educational bits they had in Sesame Street or the Polka Dot Door (Cancon requirements met for the week). But this was real life and I was a grown up and I wasn't eating Fruit Wrinkles in front of the tv after school.

Look at this machine:

 

And this one:

 

The intrepid viewer will also note that this is a self-portrait, too. You can just make out my fancy red hairnet in the reflection. Mair's in the middle. Brendan is on the left.

 

 

I liked the wrappers, too.

And there was more. Snowballs being dusted with coconut. Getting a Warm Caramel log from the production line for a cheeky snack (they're Brendan's favourite so we were allowed.) All of the celebration cakes being decorated. And these guys:

 

They're filled with wafer flour, regular flour and sugar. Crazy.

When we left Brendan gave me three dozen tea cakes and Mair got four dozen Caramel Logs. What a score! What a Health and Safety Man! We can definitely be bribed into brand loyalty. Then we went back to the bakery to buy some stuff, specifically the dark chocolate tea cakes. Then we fell asleep on the train. What a day!

And what do you do with four dozen tea cakes? Well you give a dozen of the dark chocolate ones away to your favorite people and then you force feed your sister about twenty more. Yes, my little skinny sister's trip was very well timed and I can still fit into my clothes. But more on that next post...

Comments

[MBT Shoes]

It's so nice to have you do all of the research for us. It makes our decision making so much easier!! Thanks.

[Laura A]

My mum and dad like to bite the biscuit off the bottom then plop the marshmallow top onto the top of their hot chocolate... makes for an energising drink right before bed.

[torrent download]

Those looks really nice!!!

[Mike]

SO JEALOUS! I think I would have writtn the same thing word for word, lest the "awww-ing" at happy people in smocks. The machines are incredible. It makes me wonder why I never thought to go there while in Glasgow....I could eat about a million and a half tea cakes. Next time I visit, even before saying hello, that's stop number one. Then I'll have gifts of teacakes and/or caramel logs to give.

[jess]

amazing! i can't believe how up close and personal you were able to get. you're living the dream now, buddy.