Timmy's in Glasgow

It took me a few beats to figure out why my eyeballs were finding this strange. I have seen so many of these cups on the street in my life it took me ages to remember that I wasn't in Canada, that this was weird. 

The Spar on Argyle Street squeezed a little Tim Horton's stall in sometime last fall. I went in once out of curiosity and because I thought space and time dimensions had temporarily shifted. I stammered something to the guy there, trying to ask him why this was here, when it had arrived. I bought a doughnut (Boston Cream). I left. The doughnut was fine, better than the normal Glaswegian offering (they're not really a thing here), but it didn't taste the same. It tasted like it had been frozen, like it had survived a long transatlantic journey. The chocolate topping was solid, it didn't stick to the paper bag, it wasn't quite right.

I've never been back for two reasons: I don't believe in seeking out inferior versions of things I miss. I would rather develop new crushes. And secondly, even in Canada there are only ever two reasons to go to Tim Horton's: 1) You're on a road trip and it's the only option and when the only option involves mandatory doghnut eating, who is going to complain about that? 2) You are somewhere with stupidly expensive/crappy food options and you need exceedingly familiar food at extremely predictably prices. If you are at the airport, a stadium, in Yorkville, then yes, Tim Horton's is your friend. The preservative-ridden soup, warm plastic chicken breast and fake bacon sandwiches and a double double will save you. You will still have money after and in these places, that is a minor miracle.* The Timmy's at the Spar fulfills neither of these criteria and so it is useless to go.

Because let's get one thing straight: Tim Horton's is not good. It's not a mecca of taste and texture. Our rabid loyalty is just nostalgia and Canadians clinging to things that bring them together as a nation. And that's totally fine. It just doesn't seem like a brand that's aching for international domination. It's just not that special outside of its context. Especially if it's reduced to essentially a doughnut stand in a convenience store. They don't put cream in coffee here so you can't even get a double double. No one knows what that means. What's the point?

Anyway, you know what did bring a wee tear to my eye? The french on the cup. I loved seeing that tiny chaud looking up at me. The bilingual nature of the litter made me feel fleetingly patriotic and homesick. I interpreted it as Canadians staying true to their beliefs and identity. Not that the company was too cheap to make cups only in English for the international market. What can you do? Nostalgia and patriotism are not generally known for their ability to impart rational thoughts.

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* Timbits have their own applications that are not included in the above examples. Specifically, they are useful tools in bribery and friend-making and easing boring, tedious tasks. They are quite adaptable and I would maybe buy them here, but I'm not sure they're offered.

Comments

[Jade Jewelry Sale]

I have been meaning to write about something like this on my blog and this has given me an idea. Thanks

[MBT Shoes]

It's so nice to have you do all of the research for us. It makes our decision making so much easier!! Thanks.

[Rebecca]

It's Roll Up the Rim season now; another reason you may choose to go to Timmy's in Canada. You might win a car. Or a donut. In my lifetime, however, I've only ever won "Play Again".

[JM]

too good