Originally, I wasn't going to write about Delia's new show (Mondays: 8:30 BBC 2)for a few reasons:
- Since I was born and raised in the colonies, I will never understand the complete devotion to Delia rampant in the UK. I can appreciate her and use her (old) recipes, but in this respect I will always be an outsider. She's just not in my bones.
- Her new book is called "How to Cheat" and is aimed at the population who would rather eat takeaways than cook. It's not aimed at me. As a result I've decided not to waste a lot of time taking it personally.
- Bashing this show is going to be a pretty popular and easy past time. The basic premise is to use as many tinned, frozen and already-prepared items as possible and do none of that 'scary' cooking at all. Instead you serve your family something that's full of crap, but crap that you've lovingly spooned into a tray and warmed through yourself making it a lot better than the crap that's already in a tray at the supermarket. Her book is very specific about the products you use and a single recipe could mean that you to go to four different stores for all the required brands. This approach is horrible for the environment, loads the meals up with unnecessary additives and preservatives, takes an awful lot of time and is hardly cost-effective. The whole thing is clearly just designed to squeeze some more money from her very lucrative brand. It's just gross and it's not really what the British public need.
Anyway, last night I perversely watched the first show already knowing that it would make me queasy. And it did; it was a brutal assault for anyone who likes cooking or eating food. I experienced all of the outrage and indignation that I had anticipated and was not convinced that cooking with prepared frozen potato products was anywhere near a good idea. But I did have a modestly surprising thought: I really wanted to apologize to Nigella.
Yes, her show was lazy and expensive and not very instructive, but at least she's eccentric and pretty entertaining. At least she has a baroque vocabulary. And her food is meant to be fun. She also cuts a few things on screen, unlike Delia who had absolutely everything prepared in advance and did not pick up a knife once. And she eats the things she makes. Endlessly. I mean, of course that's her whole schtick, but it was definitely not something that Delia did. She did demand that her camera guy take a slurp of soup at some point, but that was it. Basically, Nigella's last series was lazy, but at least it was joyful. And at least you only had to go to Marks and Spencers for all the expensive and lazy ingredients.
Delia also stole pretty much the whole style book from Nigella for the new show. Soft-focus shots of kitchen prep, jazzy soundtrack, little snippets of her life and wacky pottery collection (but all a lot drabber and boringer). If Nigella is the sensual, flowing food seductress, Delia is trying for the stilted and rigid suburban dominatrix. It was sort of sad and I think there would be legal battles if both series weren't made for BBC2.
Um, and Nigel Slater eating her mashed potato cake *and* validating her new cooking methods? Horrifying. You broke my heart, Nigel, you of the easy and real meals. Hugh would never have done that to me. And it has nothing to do with his Channel 4 contract.
You know who gets the easy/convenient/product-promoting thing right? Jamie Oliver in his Sainsbury's adverts. It's fine to spend 30 seconds making food that consists of opening three packages and heating them up. And at least it's clear who's writing the paychecks.
